Once upon a time
There lived two dudes,
Anvil and Hammer,
They got this dumb assignment
And it really was a jammer.

They had to do this research
Which really brought them down
They'd rather do the Wild Thing
And cruise around the town.

They went up to the door
Of this strange old dude
He let them in his house
In their crummy mood.

He said I've been bakin'
Would you like the stuff I'm makin'?
He called his wife "let's get things shakin',
We're gonna do the Wild Thing."

The laboratory was ready
The plan was starting to sing
This is just the start
We're going to do the Wild Thing.

Little did they know
They'd been on a lengthy trip
They fell through a hole in time,
It was like the ground had ripped.

Overshot into the West,
Follow him who knows the best
As the present becomes the past
Follow close and have a blast!

Go with Anvil and Hammer
As they travel on time wing
When they bank a right
Into the night
And go and do the Wild Thing.

CINDY:

The Cliffs are so romantic on a warm summers night.

KELLY:

Try rolling over and falling off that really bites.

CINDY:

The King Edward Hotel was a monument in this town.

KELLY:

Until someone got smart and burnt the thing down.

CINDY:

What about sitting on the riverbank watching the river flow.

KELLY:

I'd rather be at home watching the radio.

CINDY:

You'd rather watch the radio than the grass so green?

KELLY:

To me a piece of metal is a prettier scene.

CINDY:

What about gazing at the stars under the bright moonlight?

KELLY:

I have better things to do with this body at night!

CINDY:

It seems to me this town's your pet peeve.

KELLY:

With our steamboat so slow it would take forever to leave! I want something new like music with a beat and I don't mean a vegetable, the kind that you eat! I want something new something with style those opportunities come once in awhile. I want huge buildings with shops galore, not this place, this town is a bore!

CINDY:

But buildings would get boring to you, too. Look outside, do you want to wreck this view? How can you get bored of the river, the Cliffs, the sky so blue? After everything we have done, we need something new?!

TEACHER:

Very good girls. You make being a teacher very worthwhile. (Girls sigh) Now Lionel and Vergil.

HAMMER:

Our names are Hammer and Anvil. Yeah, you know, like ham and cheese.

ANVIL:

Yeah, like bread and mold, get it straight, teach.

TEACHER:

That's enough boys. Now as I was saying, your IBM assignment is due on Friday. If you don't make an A you will fail the term, which means, looking back on your marks (pauses), you've failed the year. (Teacher leaves and Hammer and Anvil walk up to Cindy and Kelly)

HAMMER:

That was like bread on, like, uh, uh, well, yeah, that's it.

CINDY:

Hey, Anvil, is that what you think?

ANVIL:

Awah, awah, awah.

HAMMER:

Ditto for him.

KELLY:

What's your assignment on?

HAMMER:

Old Man Grumby, the Kid Killer.

CINDY:

Yeah, right, you are too chicken to go interview him.

ANVIL:

Chicken, I like chicken, fish, too, and my favorite colour is yellow. Can we have some yellow chicken?

KELLY:

Wow, you guys are really going to interview him?

HAMMER:

Yeah.

CINDY:

Bet you guys won't do it.

ANVIL:

Do what?

CINDY:

The interview.

ANVIL:

Oh.......What interview?

HAMMER:

Shut up Anvil. (Talks to girls) What do you want to bet? How about a date, I mean if we go through with the interview then we get to take you two rad chicks out...(Anvil cuts him off)

ANVIL:

Chicken, I like chic...

HAMMER:

Shut up Anvil... and if we don't go through with the interview then you guys get to take us out, our treat.

ANVIL:

Plus, you have to help us write our assignment, you know, with words and stuff.

KELLY:

Wait here, me and Cindy will discuss it. (Girls walk away and form a huddle)

CINDY:

Did you understand a word they just said?

KELLY:

No, but I think we're going out with them either way.

CINDY:

That's O.K. I think Anvil's kinda cute.

KELLY:

(Turns around, guys are gone) Hey where'd they go?

CINDY:

I don't know.

KELLY:

Guess they couldn't take no for an answer.

ANVIL:

You go first.

HAMMER:

No, you go first.

ANVIL:

No way, you go first.

HAMMER:

(Whips out switch blade)

ANVIL:

I'll go first. (Opens gate, walks through)

HAMMER:

O.K., now you knock.

ANVIL:

I opened the gate.

HAMMER:

Exactly, now just keep going and knock on the door. (Hammer and Anvil both pull out switch blades)

ANVIL:

We'll both knock. (They both turn and see the old man) Way cool.

GRUMBY:

You must be the boys that wallpapered my windows, toilet papered my car that you stole, and cellophaned my outhouse.

ANVIL:

Yep, that was us.

GRUMBY:

Come in.

HAMMER:

Cool joint.

ANVIL:

Yeah, way cool.

GRUMBY:

Have a seat.

HAMMER:

Yeah, we have to interview you for school.

GRUMBY:

Do you want some milk and cookies?

ANVIL:

Sure.

HAMMER:

Snag me some, too.

GRUMBY:

You will really like these cookies. (Shows the box to the audience marked dream cookies, and winks)

GRUMBY:

What would you like to know?

ANVIL:

What are in these cookies?

HAMMER:

Yeah, they sure are good. (They both drift off)

GRUMBY:

Mable, get the la-bor-a-tory ready. I've got some new specimens for the experiment.

MABLE:

O.K., dear.

(Girls leave)

COWBOY 1:

(Working on horse in the background)

COWBOY 2:

(Walks on stage)

HAMMER:

Hey, Anvil.

ANVIL:

What? (Turns and bumps Cowboy 1) Oh, sorry.

HAMMER:

Let's go.

COWBOY 1:

Hey!

COWBOY 2:

What?

COWBOY 1:

Never mind.

HAMMER:

Say you're sorry.

ANVIL:

I did but he didn't acknowledge my existence. Uh, excuse me. (Bumps into Cowboy 1) He doesn't know I'm here, watch. (Pulls Cowboy 1's hair)

COWBOY 1:

Hey!

COWBOY 2:

What?

COWBOY 1:

Forget it.

ANVIL:

Hey, this is fun, they can't see us!

HAMMER:

Let's get out of here.

ANVIL:

O.K. (Pulls his hair one more time)

COWBOY 1:

Hey!

COWBOY 2:

What?

COWBOY 1:

I've had enough of you.

COWBOY 2:

I've had just about enough of you, too.

COWBOY 1:

Draw!

GRUMBY:

Wait, wrong time period. (Stops with remote)

ANVIL:

Wonder where we're going now?

HAMMER:

I don't know, man. But I hope there's more women!

ANVIL:

Man, I don't usually like homework, but I can get used to this kind.

HAMMER:

Yeah, this kind of homework I like.

HAMMER AND ANVIL:

Yes, thank you! (Down on knees praying)

HAMMER:

Man, I'm going to church from now on.

ANVIL:

Where did the music go?

HAMMER:

Where did the lights go?

HAMMER AND ANVIL:

Where did the WOMEN go?!

ANVIL:

Who cares? Let's find 'em!

NARRATOR:

Paddle wheelers were the lifeline of our little settlement until the great iron horse - the railroad, arrived. Navigating down our windy Shuswap River required the ships to be as narrow as possible so they put the paddle wheel at the rear of the boat. Some were barely scows like Enderby's old Red Star affectionately named Slow Molasses, which could carry 12 passengers and had a one and a half horse power engine. Others like the S.S. Peerless could cruise at 18 knots, the same speed as most B.C. ferries today, and were the picture of beauty, several decks high, elegantly paddling along the Shuswap.

NARRATOR:

That's the Reverend John Knox Wright over there. The Slow Molasses, as they call her, is running a little late today, which is not unusual. Often runs aground on sand bars. The occasional citizen gets off the boat in frustration and walks to town faster than the Red Star. Oh well, that's Slow Molasses. Today it's the Reverend who is impatiently awaiting its arrival from Sicamous.

REVEREND:

(Looking at pocket watch) Finally, I was ready to give up on it ever getting here. Hey, careful with that, that's the Lord's pulpit you are lurching around. (Sound of splash) Oh no, I don't believe it!

BAILEY:

(Running on stage) Holy Moses! The preacher's talking box is overboard. Give us a hand here.

BOB BAILEY AND CREW:

(Offstage) Here, hand me that pole, and wrap that rope right over there...(etc)

BAILEY:

Hey there preacher, here it is. We've baptized it, take the bleedin' thing away afore we drown it.

(Captain Cummings walks in looking searchingly)

CUMMINGS:

Well, we'll teach him a lesson. I'm already behind, today we have to leave without the mail man, Royal Mail or no Royal mail. (Calling to assistant) Pull up anchor, we're heading out.

BOB HALL:

He wouldn't do it, I always knew Cummings was related to a Prairie Oyster but this beats all! The mail has to go through - what does he think he's doing? I'll fix that old goat if it kills me. Where's a blamed horse, I'll show him how slow that scow of his is! I'll need someone to row me the length of Mara Lake (thinking aloud)and a fresh horse team. Captain Duncan Cummings, methinks you and your Old Molasses are about to lose face.

(Captain backing onto stage pulling a rope. Running in from otherside is Hall who throws down mail and confronts Cummings)

Bob Hall:

Cummings. This beats all! If you ever leave before I can bring the mail from the train I'll personally throw you in the river when I get my hands on you! I beat your slow old scow today - and I'll throw you in the river tomorrow if you're not waiting when I bring the Royal Mail through.

(Narrator and Captain walking together)

CAPTAIN:

Justice Irving, I don't know how to swim. This man has threatened my life. He's an over bearing, loud bore, and I don't want him to hold up my ship.

NARRATOR:

Nevertheless, Captain Cummings, Bob Hall is Her Majesties' letter carrier. Overbearing or not he has an important responsibility and I must expect in future that you wait for the Royal Mail.

CAPTAIN:

If I must Your Honor. But I'll never speak another word to that cur as long as I live.

NARRATOR:

Peace and harmony... that was our little town in 1889. Approaching the turn of the century we were, and a slow turn it would have been except for a little anger, jealousy and excitement. Captain Cummings never did have a word to say to Bob Hall according to the town folk. Now, one of most interesting cases that I was called upon to try, happened in March, 1905. An incident on Baird Street involving .41 caliber bullets which seem to have come from a .38 caliber revolver left folk somewhat confused until many, many years later when Mel Johnston unearthed a rusted-out revolver, while excavating a barn floor, but I'm getting ahead of my story.

          "I'll be in hell for breakfast and I won't be alone!"

          "No!!"

          BANG!

          BANG!

          BANG!

MISS COLE:

Mr. Melligan and I were taking a romantic stroll when Tom Flood met us at the sidewalk. He repeated over and over, "I'll be in hell for breakfast, and I won't be alone!" Mr. Melligan and myself were shocked! Suddenly Tom grabbed me and told Mr. Melligan to keep walking and to not look back. I called for help from Pollard, Tom's roomate, but he just stood there, didn't budge. And before I knew what was happening there was a shot.

BAILIFF:

Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

GARDOM:  

No, I don't. He should be put to death for causing trouble in poor, little Enderby.

POLLARD:

I wouldn't do such a thing, he thought of it on his own. I love Tom, like I said before, like a brother.

DEFENSE:  

Only one last question. Were you and Mr. Flood drinking the night of the attempt?

BAILIFF:

Raise your right hand and repeat after me. Do you swear to tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God?

FLOOD:  

I love her, I was planning on proposing but now...!

ANVIL:  

Maybe that's when we are.

Jacqueline Baird, Bruce McCall
          Verse l- Canadian R.R. Trilogy

Narrator #1

In our valley long ago lived the Native Shuswap Band, all alone, they worked and they roamed across their wild, free land.

We have kept our mouths shut for too long and now it is time to speak up.

We don't want to change our history, can we not remain as we were before? If you look in our faces you can see, that we are strong and will not take this anymore.

White men came to rule our rugged land, we sill wait for the warden and defiantly stand, the warden is to come to refuse us out of rights, but we are proud and noble natives, and will not give in without a fight!  We've done this for years, it's doing no wrong.  We need to hunt, to keep us strong.

So we stand here, up in arms, protecting our fields and our farms, Even if it is hopeless to try, We'd sooner do that than give up, and die.

All is changing, all is different, we really have no choice. The white man has taken over, may they soon hear our voices.

Trees will grow tall, Some will fall as the world changes, But in our hearts the traditions will stay.

The river was the source of travel, for the people of the town. The river barge "The old Molasses" brought the cargo down.

Old Molasses was the boat's nickname, That name did gain it a little fame. It was a plain but proud little boat, It wasn't very fast, and it could barely float. It worked very hard, all day and all night, To transport cargo, to the town's delight.

It carried such stuff as passengers and mail.  In the eyes of the town the Red Star could not fail.

Soon roads were made and the town was moved, at least a block away, the river wasn't used anymore, and the Old Molasses just rusted away.

It paddled up the river,
That old boat of ours,
Slow as Molasses,
It's name...The Red Star.

The whistle was loud,
The engine was hot,
The wheels turning
The pistons shot.

Big steel wheels, pounding on the track
Boldly pushing forward,
Never looking back.

A great pride was grown for the train of the town,
People gathered, Friendships were known.

A post office was set up in the general store,
Andy Baird started a brickyard with clay from the river shore.

With these bricks was built the first church, and city hall,
The church was a Roman Catholic and from a fire did slowly fall.

In the valley on the cleared land
Crops were planted in soil and sand
Waving fields of yellow wheat
Growing with rain and summer heat
Harvesting lots of fruit in the fall
Job opportunities for one and all
People lived in different ways
In Enderby's long, past yesterdays.

Mr. Murphy's hotel, stood tall while
the train whistled by.

Silent and proud the King Edward Hotel,
Succumbed to a fire and quickly fell,
As the people helplessly watched the building burn to the ground,
The flickering fire cast sorrowful shadows all around.

A castle once tall, was no more,
The sun went down,
It was clam,
The flames died.

Once so grand and tall,
It had overshadowed them all,
The King Edward Hotel was taken from our town,
But remained proudly standing in our memories.

It was named after a town in a poem by Jean Ingelow,
About great bells that would ring in "Enderbie" to let know of the rivers high flow.

To this day our Enderby grows, people
of the world wish you could see,
our peaceful, unpolluted, friendly town of Enderby, B.C.

SOLDIER1:

Did you hear about the Allied campaign?

"Rah, Rah Rumbleseats"

1. Rah, Rah Rumbleseats and runnin' boards, them were the good ole days
Defense stamps and girls galore, them were the good ole
Good ole days, model-A's, radio-do do E O DO!!

2. Oh, Rudy Valley and The Boger kids, them were the
Everybody eatin' up everything that is, them were the
Good ole days, Charlston foxtrot to the nickleode on. Them were the
Rah Rah

(Kazoo break)

3. Days were fat with the cats meow and she had herself a regular ole
Rooty toot toot, Raz-ma-taz, Sit down yer rockin the boat
Good ole days, model-A's-radio-do
Rah

(Kazoo break)

4. Rah, Rah Rumbleseats and runnin' boards, them were the good ole days
Defense stamps and girls galore, them were the good ole
Good ole days, model-A's, radio-do do E O DO!!
Rah, Rah. 

HAMMER:

We only have one hour left, or that old geezer will never let us go back to 1990!

HAMMER:

Is the rain holding up any, Mrs. Harvey? (Mrs. Harvey shakes her dripping wet rain jacket and hangs it up while drastically shaking her head, she seems to be panicking, and a real worrywart)

LAMBLY:

Didn't you know that young Sara was planning to travel for a year?

  OLIVER:

Say, did you ladies hear about Mr. Witcher losing his arm? (A lot of groans and hums and hos and nos) Mrs. Lambly, wasn't it your husband that nearly saved his life?

ALL THE LADIES:

Immediately after the accident happened, my husband was sent for. You see, he has had some knowledge of medicine while travelling with his cousin, who is a practicing surgeon. He was able to do the best job he could. Herman Witcher is doing very fine so far. He's healing well, and it is remarkable being as Mr. Lambly had no tools except for a pocket knife and a meat saw!

LAWES:

What was the name of that poem again, Mrs. Oliver?

HOPKINS:   

(Jumping up) That's it! That's it! Let's present Mr. Henret with the name "Lincolnshire". It's perfect!

LAWES:

Arranged by:
          ALAN BILLINGSLEY

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain,
We all have sorrow. But if we are wise
we know that there's always tomorrow.

Lean on me when you're not strong
and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear
that you can't carry, I'm right up the road.
I'll share your load if you just call me.
Lean on me when you're not strong
and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'd understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
Lean on me when you're not strong
and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'd understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
Lean on me, when you're not strong,
and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Call me, Call me, oh, baby just call me.
Call me I'm tellin' you, Call me.

NOTE: The musical The Town, the Times, the Tunes was written and performed by A.L. Fortune Secondary students under the direction of Barb McCall in 1990, following the two-year project in which students interviewed oldtimers and wrote essays about Enderby & District for the IBM project Links Through Time, the precurser to Snapshots from the Past.